Six simple strategies for successful bedtime routines

Many parents find settling their children to sleep is one of their biggest challenges. A study earlier this year for CBeebies Parenting found that, of the 3000 parents surveyed, a quarter spent up to an hour every night trying to get their children to sleep. Add in the fact that children’s sleep habits change as they grow and, just as we think we’ve found the perfect routine, they start waking again or refuse to sleep at all. Not to mention the impact of new siblings or school holidays. So, whether you are juggling a baby with colic or facing the beginning of the school year with a child still in a summer-holiday routine, here are six tips to ease the bedtime challenge.

Every child is different, so only act on what you feel comfortable with and what you think will suit your child.

Create a relaxing space

Make the bedroom or nap space a relaxing place for both your child and yourself. Think about all the sensory aspects of the environment. Dim the lighting and draw the curtains; a darker space will send messages to the brain to produce hormones like melatonin – a hormone that helps control our sleep-wake cycle. Try playing soothing background music or use an app to find calming sounds you both enjoy. It’s important that parents think about their own comfort as well as their children’s because our little ones are very good at picking up on our stress levels.

Winding down with cuddles, massage or a bath

For some children, a bath thirty minutes before bed can help with wind-down time. For others, bath time means play and too much fun in the water can lead to sensory overload. As always, incorporate the experiences that help your child feel calm before bed. From cuddles with a story to a massage with oil, ‘positive touch’ releases oxytocin, also known as the hormone of love; an ideal thing to feel full of before drifting off.

Take time to reflect on the day

As adults we often reflect on events from the day, before trying to go to sleep, and children are no different. In a busy household, bedtime may be the only time when you and your child have precious one-to-one time. Creating that time and space for your child to share a positive about the day, or something that is bothering them, is a powerful gift. Some children may not want to open up about any worries just before sleeping. They might prefer to draw their worries and put them in a worry box to look at together the next day.

Understanding separation anxiety

At certain ages (e.g. between 6 and 12 months) and life events (new siblings, house moves) it’s normal for young children to need their parents close by. Ease separation anxiety by creating a family photo album with photos of yourself and other close family members. Say goodnight to each of these important people in turn, to reassure your little one before they go to sleep. Some parents create a family wall next to where their child sleeps so they can feel safe, both when they drift off and wake up.

Make bedtime a part of pretend play

Help your little one understand bedtime and naptime routines by putting a favourite soft toy to bed together. Reinforce key moments or words of your bedtime routine by acting it out with your child’s toys. Emphasising spoken elements like “lights down” and “goodnight” will help them normalise the experience.

Be consistent

Children benefit from predictable as well as calm bedtime routines so aim to keep to the same times and content every night. At least half an hour, and ideally an hour, before bed avoid screen time – the light from the screens can affect melatonin. Many parents find it’s important that their child avoids long afternoon naps.  When children wake in the night the advice is to keep things as low key as possible to avoid exciting them and keep the lights dim. Having a set ‘wake up time’ that includes weekends is also recommended to support your child’s body clock.

Be kind to yourself, parents of poor sleepers often get less sleep themselves so, if you are starting a new sleep strategy, be sure to keep your goals simple and ask for help when needed. Try to avoid comparing your family’s situation with another family. Every child is different and bedtime tactics that work for one child may not work for another. Sometimes sleep patterns get worse before they get better. The advice is to give a new routine at least two weeks before you decide if it’s working.

Further support and further reading

If you’re worried about your child’s sleep, please speak to your health visitor or a GP.

The Sleep Charity website has a wealth of information including night terrors, ‘sleepy’ food to eat before bedtime, a sample bedtime programme, support for children with special needs and how to keep a sleep diary.

The National Sleep Helpline is 03303 530 541 and is open Monday to Thursday 9am – 11 am and Monday, Tuesday and Thursday 7 – 9 pm. (Not open on Bank Holidays).