The Lasting Impact of Grandparents on Early Childhood

Almost two-thirds of grandparents spend time caring for their grandchildren. Thanks to increased life expectancy that’s about 14 million older relatives providing free childcare. Yet the role of the grandparent has been shown to be much more significant than saving families money. Grandparents play a significant role in early child development that research is just beginning to shine a light on.

Enhancing children’s emotional development

As caregivers who have a strong family bond, grandparents have a unique opportunity to build young children’s sense of stability and self esteem. They often provide emotional warmth, patience and unconditional support. Attachment theory states that early emotional bonds with primary caregivers strongly affect the future adult’s sense of security. When grandparents are consistently responsive and sensitive to a child’s needs this reinforces attachment. For example, sharing that their daddy/mummy used to say or do the same things when he/she was a child. Young children who feel safe, loved and valued are better able to develop emotional resilience and learn empathy and kindness.

If a child has attachment issues (from trauma for example) the role of the grandparents becomes even more significant. For a child with additional needs, grandparents may act as advocates for the family, supporting the parent and acting alongside them to protect the needs of their grandchild, having a vested interest in the future generation to thrive. A grandparent’s role may also include that of a ‘buffer’ as they offset any instability in the nuclear family.

Offering a more relaxed pace

Whereas parents, especially working parents, often have a lot of pressure on their time, retired grandparents can provide a more leisurely rhythm to the day. This doesn’t have to mean constant playtime but a more relaxed pace of life for everyday activities, like food shopping, gardening or baking. A lot of learning can happen when watering vegetables together, fixing a gadget or baking fairy cakes. Children develop practical skills and also qualities like patience; or develop social skills when they meet other people at the allotment or library, for example.

Sharing stories and supporting communication skills

Grandparents often have a key role in passing down family stories, traditions and culture. These can help young children feel a sense of belonging and rootedness. Storytelling is really important for supporting language development. Grandparents may have more time than parents to read stories slowly and patiently, answering questions and encouraging curiosity. This plays a huge part in developing a young child’s vocabulary and communication skills.

The benefits are mutual

Research suggests that involved grandparents benefit from feeling a greater sense of emotional well-being, along with increased activity and social connection. Furthermore, intergenerational learning can give the older generation increased confidence with technology, from building familiarity with video calling to being taught online games, such as solitaire.

Grandparents surveyed in 2018 included ‘learning new songs and phrases’ among their highlights of spending time with their grandchildren. ‘Watching TV, cartoons or films’, ‘going to the park’ and ‘reading books’ were the top three preferred activities for older relatives to enjoy with their grandchildren.

Practical and emotional support for parents

When grandparents provide childcare for their children’s children, they potentially enable them to be better parents. If a grandparent can give a parent an hour to themselves once a week for a hobby, sport, or simply a lie-down, that reduces the parent’s ‘stress bucket’ before it overflows and helps build their ‘resilience bucket’.

Grandparents can also offer emotional reassurance and practical advice. However, care needs to be taken to respect one another’s boundaries and parenting choices. Good communication and understanding of the importance of routines and rules are key to navigating this potentially challenging area.

Today’s grandparents are often very involved in their grandchildren’s lives, whether face to face or on a video call. They offer a calm, attentive, caring role and, in the process, often gain a sense of their own self worth. It is time to acknowledge that grandparents are more than helpers – they are a key part of children’s emotional security, language-builders, storytellers, role models and bridges between generations.